​Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Review

This book. Oh god this book. They say if it ain’t broken don’t fix it and if it’s already perfect don’t touch it. This was incredibly applicable to the world of Harry Potter. I’m not against sequels as such, but the danger of a bad sequel is that it risks ruining the original. In many ways, Harry Potter and the cursed child ruined canon and for this grave crime it cannot be forgiven. More than any other problem I had with the book, I hate that it felt kind of…pointless. We could have done without this book. It did not add to the magical world of Hogwarts, did not add depth to the characters we have loved for so many years. In this cruel sci-fi version of Harry Potter and why nobody should mess with the timeline(looking at you Barry Allen) we enter a magical world of Harry being a terrible father, Ron still being an inept idiot, Ginny being practically non existent and Hermione…who am I kidding! Even this book couldn’t ruin the literal perfection that is Hermione Granger!
Oh also, Voldy with no nose has a daughter and you can’t get a fucking text back. So there’s that. Cheers to us friendzone dumb dumbs who can’t take a hint and cheers to our creepy hag sister Bellatrix Lestrange who managed to fulfill her noseless fetish with the Dark Lord. Also, I have questions that nobody else wants to ask. What did she call him in bed?Dark Lord? Sir? Voldy? He who must not be named? Tom? Or did she just stick to Oh God? Was there pillow talk? Is there going to be a prequel called “Harry Potter and Fifty Shades of Grey” Are we going to have to hear from Bellatrix’s “inner goddess” because I swear to the dark lord the logistics of Voldy’s sex life are so much more interesting than this book. Like did he not lose his penis with his nose?(as one would assume) Did the dementors make Bellatrix loco enough to think Voldy was hot? Or plot twist is Bellatrix better than us all and value “inner beauty” the most? I need answers goddamnit!

Okay okay, that was one tangent too many. Back to the book that exists. It wasn’t all bad. Hermione is Minister of Magic, The magical community is peaceful and has healed, Draco seems kinda nice, his son is adorable and there may be a Granger-Weasley-Malfoy wedding in the future. Yeah but that’s about it. The rest is an insult. Harry’s son is whinier than dear old dad, Ron and Ginny are just kinda..there, Dumbledore is a stoner painting who keeps running away (possibly because he wanted nothing to do with this book), Harry has daddy issues he has passed on, the lessons we learned about not judging Slytherin come completely undone(which as a possible Slytherin I take great offense to), instead of being brave and having Voldemorts daughter be a good guy or a friend who goes bad, they made it pretty obvious from the very beginning that there was something off about ‘Delphi’. The ENTIRE point of the book was, no joke, how terrible it is to manipulate time and how everything happens for a reason and how the definitely not gay children(there’s quite a bit of gaybaiting though) of Harry and Draco try to save Cedric Diggory aka Edward Cullen. Basically something they most definitely covered in book 3 “Prisoner Of Azkaban” and book 4 “Goblet of Fire” Do yourself a favor and re-read that. 

Consider yourself warned. 

2/5 wands.

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Why olicity should be endgame.

Okay firstly a disclaimer…
I’m an unapologetic crazy fangirl.
People may tell me that the characters onscreen are fictional,but seriously I don’t care.
Once I accept them in my life I care about them and their journey as I would a friend or even family.
Thankfully in the times of tumblr etc we fangirls no longer feel isolated.
We are a community.
Thus I realize that there are people like me in the world to whom a characters organic journey from pilot to finale matters.
Therefore,this article.
Currently one of the shows(there are so many) I’m crazy about is arrow.
Now though the stunts,the writing and the storytelling is exceptional…its also olicity or as the non fangirls would describe it,the relationship between two characters on the show,namely Felicity Smoak and Oliver Queen that hooks me.
Felicity’s character was supposed to be a 2 minute guest appearance with the possibility of recurrence. Its a testament to Emily Bett Rickards talent that she turned that into a series regular spot. Though I’d like to credit only her talent, I must say it was also the flash(no pun intended) of chemistry that the two characters showed in those few seconds of screentime as well as the lack of chemistry thereof with his actual lead Laurel Lance.(Laurel lovers chill,I’ll explain myself:p). For those who do watch the show we know Oliver’s history with Laurel is turbulent and convoluted to say the least, which along with the lack of chemistry led to viewers looking elsewhere to find Oliver’s OTP.(One True Pairing)
Laurel is supposedly this badass lawyer who protects the defenseless and has a very black and white view of justice… so the fact that pre-island oliver not only cheated on her multiple times, but also cheated on her with her sister (ewww) should bother her way more.
Its inconsistent and inorganic to assume that laurel would forgive Oliver off the bat…honestly as a viewer who has been through all that Laurel has(the lady has been through some real tough shit) I don’t think I’d want her to exist in such a toxic relationship with so much bad history. Its time for her to walk away and find her bliss,the way Oliver has with Felicity.
The reality is simple…Lauliver was doomed from the start…it was revealed on the show that Oliver first showed romantic inclination towards Sara but instead of being happy for her sister,Laurel manages to nip that in the bud and establish her own relationship with him…isn’t that a tad bit screwed up?
On the other hand,Felicity is the embodiment of what Oliver needs…a smart,independent woman who gives as good as she gets…sure she’s awkward and talks too fast… But she has never judged Oliver unfairly and calls him out on stuff the way only a true friend can, inspite of severely crushing on him she remains dignified in the friendzone(a hero to us all) and never resorts to petty jealousy…all while being an integral part of team arrow…there is way too much water under the bridge when it comes to Laurel or for that matter Sara…too much of a past and way too many complications, with Felicity he can be himself…the new Oliver without any baggage…and she will accept him and push him towards being the best version of himself..and for her he’ll want to be,which is why I want Olicity. Because the green arrow deserves happiness…and his happiness lies with a certain blonde bitch with WiFi.